All departures are due to a change of heart.

Q: What does it feel like to suddenly decide to leave someone?

A: At that moment, there was no hatred, no love, no crying or screaming, no heartbreak, only a calm as if my heart had died.

Yes, a grand departure is often just a test; a true departure is always silent.

When interacting with others, I always thought that all warmth and sincerity could be treated kindly;

All sincerity and goodwill will be reciprocated.

However, in the end, it turned out that it was all for naught.

When disappointment accumulates to the point where there are no more reasons to forgive, even the most stubborn and reluctant person will willingly choose to let go and leave.

There’s a saying that goes, “No one likes being alone; they just don’t like being disappointed.”

In the past, I always thought that as long as I was good to others, I would get something in return and gain their friendship.

Now I finally understand that not everyone is worth getting to know well, and loneliness is the norm in life.

Last week, my younger sister, who had been working for less than a year, called me, crying and saying that she had chosen the wrong person.

At work, my sister made a good friend. Because they were about the same age and from the same hometown, my sister felt like she had found family. She would often invite this colleague to dinner and shopping, treating her like a sister.

But gradually, the younger sister discovered that all her efforts and enthusiasm were met with indifference from the other party.

For example, when the younger sister encountered a problem and couldn’t handle her work, she asked this friend for help, but the friend made excuses to refuse.

The reason why the younger sister was so disappointed this time was because she helped this friend with a task and accidentally got a piece of data wrong. The leader criticized her by name in a meeting, but the other party actually pushed all the blame onto the younger sister.

There was no big argument, no confrontation, but the next time this friend invited her sister to eat, she learned to make excuses to decline.

As I grew up, I realized that love and care are accumulated little by little, as are sadness and disappointment.

When all your sincere efforts are met with indifference, and when your enthusiasm is gradually exhausted, your heart grows cold.

Regarding interpersonal relationships, I once made an analogy: “There is an emotional account between people. Every time you make the other person happy, you deposit more money; every time you make the other person sad, you deposit less money.”

Therefore, the more disappointments one experiences, the less money is left in one’s emotional bank account, and the relationship between two people eventually comes to an end.

When your sincerity is ignored time and time again, when your values ​​are scorned time and time again, you finally realize that the two of you are drifting further and further apart.

One netizen shared their experience:

He was so excited after finishing the manuscript late at night because he had interviewed a writer he admired that he couldn’t wait to call a classmate to share the story.

Unexpectedly, after listening to a few words, the other party impatiently replied, “You must be working too hard, working overtime so late. Are you going to get overtime pay? Is it worth it for a little money?”

Feeling deeply disappointed, this netizen finally realized that they could no longer talk about anything like before.

It turns out that once a barrier forms between people, they really can’t get close anymore.

You talk about ideals, he talks about money;

You value feelings, he values ​​interests;

The two were so close, yet felt as if they were separated by a galaxy; in the end, they lived as people in two different time periods.

Some say that disappointment is an emotion that never overwhelms you, but rather accumulates gradually.

What disappoints us is never a single event, but the accumulation of countless small things.

A disappointing relationship is like a rose that has fallen to the ground; without the nourishment of nutrients, it gradually withers away.

Bertrand Russell once said, “No one should be expected to change his life for the sake of his life.”

I used to think that time and love could change a person.

Finally, I realized that expecting others to change is a foolish thing.

Just like the female protagonist in the movie “77 Heartbreaks”.

In the movie, the male and female protagonists lived together for 10 years.

For the past 10 years, the male protagonist has remained childish, never truly caring about his girlfriend’s feelings, and simply acting willfully according to his own ideas.

On their first date, the male protagonist was late, but his girlfriend forgave him.

The male lead could never remember the female lead’s eating habits, and the female lead forgave him time and time again.

Before traveling, the male protagonist never does any research. Although the female protagonist is angry and exhausted, she still forgives him.

The female protagonist keeps forgiving and forgiving, but this forgiveness and tolerance only result in the other party intensifying their harm.

Ultimately, after forgiving the other person 77 times, the female protagonist decided to stop forgiving him.

After watching the movie, I realized that not all forgiveness is appreciated.

Not all tolerance can lead to change.

For those who don’t know how to cherish, no amount of forgiveness or persistence will make you feel like a puppet being manipulated.

The final decision to never forgive must have been the result of accumulating too much powerlessness and disappointment over a long period of time.

This is generally true in love, friendship, and family relationships.

In the TV series “An Jia”, the storyline of Grandma Jiang selling her villa brought tears to many eyes and also showed us the good and evil in people’s hearts.

Grandma Jiang’s husband is seriously ill, and she wants to sell the old house that her mother left to her three sisters to pay for his medical treatment.

However, while the two nephews verbally agreed to sell the house, they secretly devised ways to prevent the transaction.

First, the eldest nephew pointed out that the prices for the three floors were different and that Grandma Jiang should compensate for the price difference for the first floor, and Grandma Jiang compromised;

Later, upon learning that the buyer requested installment payments, the two nephews suggested that a lump sum payment be required. The real estate agent helped find a new buyer, but the two nephews still refused to sign the contract.

During Grandma Jiang’s most difficult time, her two nephews were only interested in getting her inheritance, which was disheartening.

Finally, Grandma Jiang realized that in the face of greedy people, family ties became worthless, and she ultimately decided to donate the house free of charge.

Someone asked:

Should you persist in a relationship where you consistently offer kindness but receive no reciprocation?

Almost everyone thought that they should give up.

Time has witnessed the true nature of people’s hearts;

Experience has proven human nature.

Some people, the more you forgive them, the more they take advantage of you;

The more you give in, the more he will take advantage of you.

From disappointment to forgiveness, when the bottom line is constantly being crossed and goodwill is constantly being consumed, a heart is already riddled with holes, and there is no longer any reason to forgive.

George R.R. Martin wrote in A Song of Ice and Fire: “The more people you care about, the more vulnerable you are.”

The more you care, the more you give others the right to hurt you.

The more vulnerable you are in a relationship, the more vulnerable you become.

This was true of Xiao Hong’s relationship with Xiao Jun.

Xiao Hong and Xiao Jun fell in love through their writing.

Despite Xiao Jun’s repeated infidelity, Xiao Hong still chose to forgive him, and the more she gave, the more unable she was to extricate herself from the situation.

During this time, some friends advised Xiao Hong to leave Xiao Jun.

However, she loved too deeply and could not leave. In the end, she passed away with regret that Xiao Jun was able to turn over a new leaf.

Often, we are unwilling to leave not because we are reluctant to part with them, but because we are unwilling to give up.

I’m unwilling to accept that all my efforts have been in vain, and I’m unwilling to accept that I’m a loser.

However, all the resentment only made him sink deeper and deeper into the quagmire overgrown with weeds.

The greatest regret in life is giving up what you shouldn’t have given up and persisting in what you shouldn’t have persisted in.

Smart people know when to cut their losses.

Letting go of obsessions, ceasing to be humble, and stopping compromising oneself is the wise thing to do.

Just like Meng Xiaodong.

Meng Xiaodong and Mei Lanfang met on stage. Meng Xiaodong was attracted by Mei Lanfang’s talent and was willing to lower herself for love and even temporarily give up her beloved career. However, all of this did not earn her the appreciation of Mei Lanfang and his family.

Later, Meng Xiaodong realized that Mei Lanfang only loved young, beautiful women, not her as a person.

In the eyes of the Mei family, Meng Xiaodong was a “mistress” who broke up other people’s families. Later, a certain incident made Meng Xiaodong give up.

Ultimately, she decided to leave Mei Lanfang, return to her own stage, and make it the center of her life.

Some departures, if they happen sooner, are not necessarily a bad thing.

Leave behind those who outwardly respect you but secretly belittle you;

Leave behind those who appear kind and harmless but are actually extremely hypocritical;

Leaving behind those you like but don’t know how to cherish is something to be thankful for.

Life is short, only a few decades. The most important thing is to satisfy yourself, not to please others.

After experiencing many things, I finally understand that all departures are due to a change of heart, a desire to no longer please others, and an unwillingness to compromise oneself.

Therefore, leaving is not scary; what is truly terrifying is someone who dwells in their obsession and lacks the courage to leave.

Sometimes, leaving is a way to restart your life.

Sometimes, leaving is to meet someone better.

Only by learning to let go and turn away can you encounter more beautiful scenery at the next crossroads.